The End (of the School Year) Has Come!

Well, this is it. Only one more year to go.

As of Friday, June 27, 2014, I have officially ended the third chapter of my highschool book.  I’ll be a senior.

It’s not shocking, it’s not nerve-wrecking, it’s not even scary.  On the contrary, it’s actually a little humbling.  When I think about all of the people who got held back, who died, or who even dropped out, I just think “I made it”.  Then, I remember that I still have one more year left in high school, and it will probably be the hardest one simply because of all the loose ends I have to tie up.  But, for now, we (my friends, you, and I) are still in the “I made it” phase.

And it feels good.

As I stare down the pathway to senior year, I wonder how many other people aren’t overly hyped to be one.  I mean, it’s nice and all, it means I’m competent enough to pass a grade. Hooray!  However, I often think that in less than 300 days, I will finish the easiest part of my life.  I don’t know what I want to be, I don’t know what college I want to go to, and I don’t even know if I’ll keep contact with anyone from high school.  Okay, well I do know what I want to be, but I want a degree before I pursue something like acting..

Overall, I learned a few things, both junior year, and as a cumulation of the entire high school chapter, that I’ve found and will continue to find helpful to keep in the back of my pocket.  Hopefully, you’ll find some of these things helpful, even if you aren’t in high school, or if you’ve already graduated college and all that good stuff.

1. Sometimes, you have to cheat.

Look, a class that cheats together graduates together.  Please do not hit me or any other student with the “I’ve never cheated before, so why should you?” story.  The fact is, cheating isn’t just in the form of tests, but if you forgot to do your homework and asked your friend for that favor, you’re both cheating because it goes both ways.

It’s no secret that junior year is considered the hardest year in high school because it’s the first year you really learn something new.  This year, most people thought of the bright idea to stack up on the hardest classes this year so they could chill senior year.  Needless to say, it was a horrible idea, but it did get most classes like History, World Language, AP Calc, AP Chemistry, and Physics out-of-the-way for most people.

This year, I noticed that unless you were in our school’s Engineering Academy (because your brain is wired some other way then the rest of us) the hardest class was Physics.  Well…if you got a certain teacher it was.  You see, there were two physics teachers, one was Mr. La, and the other was Mr. Leibowitz.  Although Mr. Leibowitz was probably the better looking out of the two, he more or less talked to himself when he taught, and it was the first year we had to learn to not be cajoled into asking a question. No one could wrap their heads around Kinematics, Electrical physics, and the fact that everything was going towards the center of the Earth at an acceleration of -9.81m/s^2.  The only real highlight of this class was the Six Flags trip only physics students got to go to.

Because of the challenge of Physics, and the fact that Mr. La barely tutored anyone but his own students, we were forced to improv.  The students who got it basically stayed to themselves, and the “smart” but physic-ally (lol) challenged people helped each other out.  By the end of the year, if you looked on your phone, you would probably find 50 pictures of the homework you took so you could read through to just barely get through the test.  No one cheated on the test though, that is some real crazy stuff that we were not into.

2. No matter how much advice you give someone, he or she will probably find his or her way better.

This is a given to everyone who is reading this and beyond.  There will always be those people who come crying to you for advice, pretend to listen for an extended period of time, then blatantly ignore it.  If you haven’t run into this kind of person yet, then you haven’t lived life, my friend.  Don’t get me wrong, here.  I am not saying that I want to force feed you my advice and YOU HAVE to follow it word by word, but it’s always frustrating when you know you have someone’s best interests at heart and they find a loophole in your advice.

During the entire junior year, I have experienced this several times.  One particular incident that has been indented into my mind was when an acquaintance of mine asked for relationship advice.  She mentioned how she and the guy were “talking” (the getting to know you phase before actually going out), and he was apparently taking more time than she liked.  She either wanted him to define the relationship, or let her go.  I spent two hours telling her that she should probably leave because, not to be stereotypical, the guy probably had more girls on the side.  Also, he didn’t look like he had a good future ahead of him, and even though this was only high school, she shouldn’t fall into the pattern of picking losers because having a “type” is hard to break.  She nodded her head, interjected when she felt I was putting him down, and made eye contact that was not awkward.  All the signs seemed to point that she was listening to my voice of reason, and that she at least consider it.  After the heart to heart, she told me that she was going to break up with the jerk!

Hoorah!  She would get over it, but for now, the comfort of her not looking like a fool should do her some good.  Well, that’s what I thought.  She said although he’s not all that successful, not really goal-oriented, and he liked putting other people down, she could change him.  She ended up talking to him for about 6 more months until she found out that he already had a girlfriend on the day of her graduation.  I really hate being that person that said I told you so, so I didn’t, because it wasn’t even satisfying at this point.

I realized that although someone may ask for your advice, they may only want you to listen.  At that point in time, that’s really all you can do because they most likely will not follow your advice, and that’s okay.  The only thing I can say to that is make sure you let them know what they’re headed for, because people love asking “why didn’t you warn me?” a lot.

3. At This Point in Your Life, You Need to be NUMBER 1 in your life.

Yea, everyone says they prioritize themself first before everyone else, but is that really true?  We would all like to think that because no one wants to admit that they’re a pawn for someone else’s enjoyment or success.  However, the fact of the matter is that maybe we need to tone down being popular and look towards our own future, and what we would like to be.

Although most people aren’t the traditional people pleaser, it’s a fact that most people obviously want to be a part of the in-crowd, whether they have the courage to admit it to themselves or not.  This may make them do stuff that they enjoy, but are really doing it for the social reason.

My sister is a really great runner but now, she’s a freshman college runner, and she basically passed the torch to an incoming junior.  That girl can run, maybe not as well as my sister, but she has the talent that can be worked on with some persistence.  Vickie (my sister) was recently telling me that she told Dev (the girl) that she should do Cross Country and winter track.  You see, Dev was a soccer player, but we all agreed she can run herself to college if she put her mind to it.  Most of the “popular” girls do soccer, but it’s obvious not all of them can play well.  Allegedly, with some convincing, she now knows that she doesn’t need to do much to be in.  Now, Dev is going to be doing Cross Country, because popularity will not be getting her a scholarship.

Sometimes, you have to do something that will benefit you.  Sure, doing soccer is one of the ultimate ways to popularity (which she doesn’t need because she’s a fun person in general), but being a social butterfly will not wow a college admissions officer to give you a full scholarship.  The point is, while wanting to have fun, it is important not to lose the reason why you’re in school.  No, it’s not because one has to, otherwise many people would have dropped out by now.  It’s because many people want to go further in life through hard work and dedication.

4. There will always be people who will hate you for no reason

Everybody knows this all too well.  For some reason in life, there will always be that one person who hates on your success, gives you backward compliments, or talks behind your back to drag your name through the mud.  If you don;t know this kind of person, chances are you’re one of them.  You may have tried to tell them to keep your name our of their mouth unless they’re praying for you.  Maybe maybe you tried to fight fire with fire, but since you aren’t the fighting type, you just made yourself look crazy or stupid.  With my experience, which is a whole story on its own, and many other people’s experiences, it’s best to let your success do the talking.  Obviously you must be relevant to their life if they have the impulsive nature to continuously talk about you.  It’s way better to let them look stupid than to fall into the pettiness.  You may say “But Tobi, it seems like everyone is listening to this fool and laughing at me with him/her”.  Well, I say keep holding your head up and not falling into their pointless drama because when 5 years pass by and you’re long out of high school, you can be one of the few people who said “I didn’t fall into the hype”.  Trust me, it is way more satisfying to know that you were one of the few wise people who didn’t lose your head for the sake of something as useless as backbiting.

5.Hard Work Pays OFFFFF
This is another kind of thing that is often said, but you can’t really experience it until you yourself know the value of hard work.
Recently, I’ve been prepping for college in various ways, like taking the SATs, and the AP test, and studying for the ACT.  Needless to say, I didn’t study hard for the SAT and got an average score, which is below average for a foreign family.  However, I got a 4 on the United States History AP Exam!  This success and failure has taught me the value of hard work: IF you want something as badly as you do, then it takes 50% prayer, and 50% preparation.  If you believe that you can do it, and you work hard enough for it, then it will end up working in your favor.  I’m just telling you now, if you want to save yourself the time and the effort of not doing things a second time, or feeling like you just wasted your money, then you really have to work hard.
And working hard isn’t just for school.  If you want a job or relationship to work, then you have to put time and effort and not just throw in the towel when you’re mad or when things aren’t going your way.  Just some food for thought.

Well, obviously I learned way more, like the Pythagorean theorem, the laws of physics, and that George Washington was the first President of the US, but that’s a story for another time.  The point is, everything that everyone ever learns comes from experience.  If I hadn’t paid attention to my surroundings and had some struggles, I never would have learned the value of things and learning in general.  But enough about me.  Comment below and tell me what high school experiences have shaped who you are and what exactly you took from that event …or events.  Go ahead, I’m a good listener/reader, so lay your head on my pillow!

Until Next Time

 

 

The Perfect World

I just thought that this sounded really good in my head, I decided to actually write it down.

Enjoy.

In a perfect world,

People will not judge

They will accept

Who you are

Without having to be nudged.

 

In a perfect world,

Everyone will have a voice

Yes, real ones

We get to finally

Have a choice.

 

In a perfect world,

No one will hunger

We will care

About everyone

Even if they’re not younger.

 

In a perfect world,

We can all coexist

No one will be hated

Trust me on this one

I insist.

 

All of these things seem so lovely

It made me do a twirl

But it’s all

In an imaginary place

Called the perfect world.

 

Until Next Time.

I made this poem myself.  Please don’t copy it (if you do at least give some credit).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Community Pool

Originally posted on The Daily Post:

The Community Pool is for those of you looking for input, whether on post ideas, writing, blog design and layout, or anything else. If you have a post, page, or idea you want to bounce off someone, leave a comment. Your fellow bloggers can then click through and offer input either on your site, or in the comments here (feel free to indicate which you’d prefer).

Read on for the ground rules and to leave a comment . .

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Anticlimactic

Have you ever felt that you wanted something so bad, and you just had to have it?  But of course, no sarcasm intended, there was A LOT of competition to get it?  Then you finally achieve, or get, what you have wanted so desperately?

Then, just as the climatic moment of your life comes, it drops like a deadweight.

You find out something that almost makes you stop loving what you worked so hard to get.  Maybe everyone got it because it really wasn’t that hard, or it became old news quicker than new news, or you find out that it is not as useful as you thought.  Of course, you suck it up, take it with a smile, and rant to yourself on the inside.

This is exactly what happened to me, and probably many other unfortunate, but still thankful, people.

About a week or so ago, I found out that I got into the National Honor Society of my school.  It had seemed as if all my prayers, community service, and good grades had finally paid off in this god-forsaken place called “high school”.  Now, to me, this is a big deal because I’m a junior, and if I got rejected I would have to reapply again next year.  Who really wants to fill out all of that paper work again?

As I breathed my sigh of relief, I looked around and saw that my friend had gotten in as well.  Yippee!  Now, there would be no awkward “sorry dude” and silence when the subject came up.  We left home room, turned the corner, and saw that another group of people had gotten accepted.  Let joy reign!  Another ten got accepted….and another batch….and some more.  It seemed as if no one  got rejected.

Please do not misunderstand me.  I was not purposefully looking for people to single out and say “HA!  You didn’t get in.”  But…wouldn’t it seem weird to you if you had to write a 5 paragraph essay, get ALL TYPES of leadership documents, get signatures, phone numbers and recommendation surveys (basically do YOUR best), while you KNEW people who put crap down and still got in?

By the end of the day, N.H.S. still met something to me, but I had subconsciously down-graded the once prestigious society.  I thought it was challenging to get in, which is what made it so lovely, but I guess…it just wasn’t. The year before mine, not many people got in, and you saw people walking like zombies that day, while there were people who put a pep in their step that day.

And the thing is, it was not just me who thought about it.  There were many other students wondering how the now confusing society could accept such a huge number of people in one go.  It was…anticlimactic for most who were waiting be separated into the “haves” and the “have not”, but i seemed as if everybody “had”.

I am still VERY happy that I got in, and I’m happy for everyone else, but I am unhappy that such a special moment in my short life turned out be so anticlimactic.  The point of this story is, anecdote is:  do NOT rile yourself up for something, no matter how much you want it.  You’re just going to be sorely disappointed when you find out that everyone got it, and it doesn’t see as nice as it once was.

 

Until Next Time

 

How Come…?

These are just a few things that I wonder about the world we live in sometimes.  Don’t be offended…they’re just questions that randomly pop into my head at times.  Enjoy.

1.How come girls can hit boys, but boys can’t hit girls?

2.How come an athlete has better opportunities than an intelligent person?

3.How come people are racist?

4.How come people drive on parkways but park on driveways?

5.How come a hamburger is made of beef and not HAM?

6.How come a girl gets punished for being 16 and pregnant, but the guy gets to walk away free of charge?

7.How come doctors get paid more than nurses but do less?

8.How come people never remember the good things you did for them, only the bad?

9.How come if a girl sleeps around she’s a slut, but if a guy sleeps around, he’s a hero?

10.How come people can’t learn from their mistakes the first time?

11.How come the last born is coddled all the time?

12.How come the education system has such a generic way of teaching different types of students?

13.How come kids always have to stay “realistic” about their future?

14.How come kids bully people?

15.How come people feel the need to tell you about something that you would rather not know about them?

16.How come certain adults are rude?

17.How come people don’t try their best in everything they do?

18.How come people complain about television being inappropriate, but still watch the same inappropriate channel?

19.How come people care so much about celebrities when we all know they really don’t care about you?

20.How come cursing makes a joke way more funny than it actually is (try it for yourself)?

21.How come people think other people are just as bad as THEY are?

22.How come people never read a manual before they operate something?

23.How come insecure people feel the need to be ring leaders of a group (i.e. friends, cults, whatever)?

24.How come people go through midlife crisis’?

25.How come people are so great at school, but are AWFUL test takers?

26.How come you don’t say certain things in front of certain people?

27.How come people steal stuff that they don’t even need, or could afford?

28. How come life seems to be so unfair?

29.How come you blog?

30.How come you came to read this?

Feel free to answer my questions, personally or generically, and comment below your own “How come” question below!

My Top 8 Complaints on Kids These Days

Kids these days.  I’m not talking about the kids over 13, that is a whole separate story in itself, I’m talking about the little ones.  Like the 6-11 range (ha ha, didn’t include the awkward 12).

I know being 16 is still considered being a kid, and I have “no room to talk”, but really…how could you not notice.  It seems as if each parent has a blindfold on.  They overpraise them for doing right, while ignoring the wrong.  I have a lot of complaints about the really little kids, but apparently, they’re doing JUST fine.

1. They’re unusually spoiled.

Although I understand that every generation before the last gets a little more spoiled than the last, I have to put my foot down for this one.  What 5 year old needs an I pod or a phone?  They don’t need to be doted on a lot..

There was a day in school where all of the sophomores and juniors had to take the PSAT’s.  When we were done, we had to just sit there and talk or whatever.  My friend, Deborah, and I were talking until we overheard the teacher that was watching us say something really surprising.  Of course, if you know me by now, I just had to say something.  The conversation went a little something like this:

“Man, my kid didn’t do her math project again!  She always waits until it’s due in like 3 days, when she has like 2 weeks to do it!  Oh!!  Look what I added onto it-“

“Wait…You’re DOING your daughter’s math project?”

“Uh yea..”

“Like…for her to turn it in to the teacher?  As HER product?”

“Yea, do you want me to just sit back and let her fail?”

“Well no, but why don’t you just let her do it for herself?”

By this point, I stop talking, but I was in a daze.  From what I inferred, this was not the first time the teacher was doing her homework; I would bet 10 bucks that the girl didn’t even know how to do a research paper because her mom did it for her!

I understand that parents want kids to “have what they didn’t get as a kid,” but you should be smart enough to draw the line somewhere.  There is a thin line between trying to give your kid the best, and trying to ruin their life because they can’t fend for themselves in the real world.

2. Desensitization

Really, it costs NOTHING to pick your kid up and move them to another place if a sex, or gory, scene comes on…or better yet, change the channel to something else.  This one really isn’t the kids fault; how the heck are they supposed to know that they should not see certain things at certain ages or it could emotionally scar them for life?

Also, GTAV…not for 7 year a old.. neither is any rated M game or R movie.  Honestly, when I think about kids that feel the need to sit with me when I’m watching certain things, it makes me want to flick them in throat or something.  Is this how adults feel?

3. Language.

It’s not cute when 4 a year old says “fuck” or “Shit! Patrick got stung by a jellyfish”.  Personally, I don’t think people should be cursing in general, but it leaves an odd stinging sensation in my head when I hear LITTLE kids saying it.  This goes the same for like, 12 year olds.  They get the impression that it’s cool to say it, then they get confused when we rebuke them.  Don’t send mixed signals.

4. They Can’t Stand to Lose

This one is always a tricky one to talk about with people..  No child can REALLY stand to lose, it grinds their gears because it is a foreign concept to them.  The thing I have with  the newer little kids is that they aren’t LEARNING to take losing well.  In other words, they can’t or don’t know how to cope with losing…or at least don’t know how to get over it.  No one is teaching them that in life, you win some and you lose some.

If they can’t take a simple lose in rock paper scissors, then how are they going to lose to something much more serious.

NOTE: I’m not saying they should not try hard to succeed, I AM saying that when they lose, they should KNOW how to evaluate why they lost, and try harder next time.  If it’s something like chance, stop choosing the same options again, OR don’t get angry over something they can’t control.  If this is your kid, it sounds like you need to change the way your child perceives losing.

I’m not a doctor, nor do I have any kids.  I’m just a 16 year old myself..  Looking at all these problems, it almost makes me NOT want to have kids.  Almost.  Now, I have even more reasons to have kids, just so they won’t turn out like the things mentioned above.  And yes, while not every kid and parent is perfect, I do believe that kids are NOT unraisable.  If you do the right things, maybe with little mishaps that aren’t emotionally scarring, you’ll have a cool kid.

OH YEAH…That wasn’t 8, only 4…Maybe the human race isn’t as bad as I’m making it….I thought I’d have a lot more to say, but everything just went out the window.  Oh well.

Have any other complaints that didn’t make it to my list?  Have anything to counteract what I said?  Fine then.  See you in the comment section, and remember netiquette!

Until Next Time

Rule of Thumbs for Social Building

Social building, it’s the building blocks of life.  Next to graduating school and becoming successful, it’s the most important thing you need to learn before you get out into the real world (or at least enter high school).  If you know how to network and be suave and charismatic, then you’re good.  If you don’t, then in life, you may often be that person wondering “how did THEY…of all people in the world…get that [insert something you desire]?  He/she is a total [insert something witty]!”

If you know how to build your social blocks, then this may add on to your lucky life, if you don’t…take notes.

1. Be friendly

This really should be the first rule for anything in life.  You can’t be… unfriendly… if you want a better networking system.  It’s not gonna happen, not even in the movies.  Being that kid/adult in the corner during school/work will get you noticed, but not in the way that you want.  Also, people make horrid misconceptions about you when you try to be the loner: stuck-up, conceited, and emo are the few things that pop up in someone’s judgmental mind..

No one is asking you to throw yourself at people.  I’m just saying that you should smile more, or take a risk and join a conversation.  Maybe you should look back to your kindergarten years and see how you made your group of friends then!  Old tricks work for multiple situations.  If you know how to make friends, you will either make the RIGHT friend, or you make friends that have the right friends so you can get the hookup!

2.Don’t Overdo Anything

You may think “that’s so obvious,” but this is the rule that most people annihilate when they try to social build.  They’re so nervous that they can’t think, which usually makes them do stupid things.

Laughing too hard at something that is clearly not funny, asking too many questions, or doing something unconsciously will get you that awkward look.  That big shot person will look at you, walk away, and gossip about you.  And you will be shot down 2 steps from the social building blocks.

Do everything in moderation.  A little goes a long way.  Yada yada.

3.Don’t be “That Person”

Don’t be that person that always wants a reward, but doesn’t want to work for it.  You’re not special, and no one else thinks your special, so get off your butt and start helping out.  Granted, you can TRY to be the leader of people who are nobodies, that way you can look a little more individual.

Also, don’t complain about things too much…you’ll be that “person”.  The list can go on and on for “don’t do that”.  It really is a subconscious thing to look out for.

4. Looks go a long way

Trying to be part of the punks?  Wear tattered clothing!  Shooting to be in the nerd herd?  Bow ties and sweater vests it is!  The point I’m trying to make with those slightly stereotypical dressing habits is that you need to dress for the occasion.  When someone looks at a homeless person, they think “bum” (don’t try to deny it).  When you see Drake, you think “rapper/black guy”.  If you want to get something, you must dress like you are in that position!

You know what they say: “Fake it till you make it!”.

5. No one is Below You

You’re still in the steps of social building.  If you’re not Obama or Bill Gates, then you should NEVER think ANYONE is BELOW YOU!  Just because you come from a wealthy family, doesn’t make you anymore better than that girl who makes a 4.5 GPA, but is poor and can’t afford more than 3 days worth of outfits.

Make friends with everyone, and don’t think a certain person will get no where just because “you know they won’t”.  And, you never know who will turn out to be useful or be a true friend in the long run!  I have seen plenty of underdog situations that have happened.  That nerd in high school will probably turn out to be the hottest guy in college because he hit his growth spurt a little late.  Then, he’ll be hot and smart…and you can’t even brag that you knew him before the transformation happened..

The best thing to do in situations like these is to think you are above no one.  It keeps your feet on the ground, while you can keep your eyes on the stars.  Granted, you should never think anyone is above you, because that is not the ultimate goal!

6. Patience

Patience is key in social building.  Nothing ever happens over night, and this will not be any different.  If you’re impatient to be on top, it will show.  You’ll look like you have ADHD and you don’t take any medication.  Not pretty.

7. Know Your Roots

This is especially important in social building.  Because you rise each step, you may forget the last one; I strongly suggest that you do not do that, because you’ll look like you’re too cool to school or something.  Then, people will want to peg you down a size, and then you’ll  be that person who started from the bottom…only to be back at the bottom.

Also, when you DO get to the top (because I believe in you, and your just that AWESOME), you can also encourage people because you remember the STRUGGLE.

8. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

You are still probably with the same group of friends you were 3 years ago.  You do NOT need to get rid of them, you just need to add on to them!  Do something you normally wouldn’t do, like a 5k or a walk for cancer.  That way, you’ll be so uncomfortable that you will be forced to meet someone.  If that sounds too scary…do something you know how to do, but do not do OFTEN.  BAM!  You are still doing something within your knowledge, but you can almost meet someone new.

9. Be Genuine

Look, just because you’re building yourself socially for an ultimate goal that you want to achieve, does not mean that you can just use people.  When you’re trying to make networks, try being genuinely interested in what they have to say, or this will literally be hell for you.  Also, if someone else is shooting for the same thing, don’t be all like “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!”.  Listen to why they want to do it (without telling them that your goal is the same, of course) and try to add on to yourself, if they have good qualities at least.

10. KEEP IN CONTACT

This is one of the hardest things to do.  While your trying to add on to your network, you may lose some people in the process.  That is inevitable.  What IS NOT good is if you go through people like tissues.  Keep some in your back pocket, don’t waste all that effort you have done.

‘Nuff Said.

All of these things can help you reach whatever goal you want to ultimately reach, while getting friends in the process.  It’s is important to realize that, while you may want to win the game of life, material things aren’t that important as well.  Don’t lose yourself while trying to be an expert social builder.  It would be pretty sweeeeeet though…don’t you think?

Until Next Time.

Pleasers

In this physical world, there are two types of people: the people-pleasers, and the self-pleasers.

Let’s start with the self-pleasers.  If you’re a self-pleaser, then you can’t go 2 or 3 sentences without saying “I” or “me”.  The self-pleasers are always looking to try to satisfy themselves.  They often try to make things go their way for their benefit, regardless of the situation.  Think of them as that person who inappropriately tries to make something about them self when you’re telling a really nice story.

If you have this kind of person around you, you should probably cut them off, or at least say something.

A characteristic of a self-pleaser is that they may be conceited and often times a little bossy, but not overly controlling.  Obviously, you won’t see this when you first meet them, but it will show up when something happens and they can not pretend anymore.  If you notice that a person is not able to say “I’m sorry” (that is, owning up for a fault) or is constantly pushing around the blame, you’ve hit the mark in calling them a self-pleaser.

On the other side, you have a people-pleaser.

I can tolerate a self-pleasing person because they are straightforward with everything: get things their way..period.  With a person who makes their life centered around pleasing others, it’s different because other people’s wants change, so theirs change, which can get a little annoying.

Characteristics of a people-pleaser are a little more obvious.  They are people pleasing because they want to feel accepted, so they obviously can’t take rejection.  They cannot take anything similar to constructive criticism because they feel that it is the first step to getting the boot.  They also get easily offended and have short fuses.  They can’t say a sentence without think about YOU.

You should try to distance yourself from these kinds of people, but not cut them off totally because they already have a bad self-esteem.  Let them find themselves before talking to blowing up their phone again

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It’s important that you never become these two types of people.  Although you should always consider everyone else, there are times where you should be a little selfish and just GO FOR WHATEVER YOU WANT.

At the same time, you can’t be narcissistic.  Show some consideration once in a while.  It will not kill you; in fact, it might just make you stronger emotionally or attractive to other people.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to find your balance.  I’m just saying it will be worth it.

Till Next Time

 

 

This Is Why We Don’t Talk About People.

This situation had me DYING (of laughter and irony), so my only hope is that I explain it well enough for you to feel the satisfaction of someone being caught talking about you.

I’ll start from the beginning, maybe it’ll flow better.

WARNING: Anti-Climatic, but still funny and you CAN learn a lesson

So, it’s the end of 4th period (pre-calculus…not important, but it’s the little things) and my friend, Deborah, and I were walking to our 5th period class (Acting III).  Somewhere in the hall, another one of my friends, Brianna yells at ANOTHER one of my friends, Jamira, that they have to hustle to get to dance class.  Apparently, they had a dance test they had to do, and their dance teacher is tough.

Me and Deborah both heard that, and she said how it must have been really easy to pass dance class (don’t get offended).  I then mentioned how I knew some people who got C’s in it because dance isn’t for everyone.  We snickered, cackled and the conversation died down physically, but in my head, I some how started thinking of cheerleaders.

I noticed that the incoming freshmen cheerleaders, and the sophomores, were all thin ones…like…no big boned girls anywhere in sight.  The bigger girls who were once freshmen were now juniors and seniors, and I thought that cheer leading coaches were trying to phase it out as nicely as they could.

Me being…me, I voiced out my opinion in the exact words: “I think the coaches are trying to phase out the bigger girls and are trying to stick with the smaller girls for the teams this year..”

After that…all hell broke loose from her mouth.  And at first it was funny, but then her downfall came, then it became REALLY funny.

She went OFF on the bigger girls.  It sounded something like this..

“Ugh, those bigger cheerleaders make me so mad.  All they do is just stand around yelling cheers…like do something!  It’s so annoying, they can’t even tumble right.  They can’t even do flips!  All they can do is just hold people up…”  And so on.

Yes, I admit, it was really funny how she was saying it.  But, I started to think about all the bigger girls on the team, and most of them could tumble better than the thinner girls, and they could dance exceptionally well.  I realized there were only a few of those girls who did nothing and made the team look worse, but she generalized them, or at least didn’t mention that there were actually good bigger girls.

Speaking of the bigger girls, I looked up from my books (we keep our heads down in the hallway to prevent awkward waving and promote efficiency) I saw TWO bigger cheerleaders walking right in front of us!

They turned around and made eye contact with me, and I shifted my attention to Deborah, who didn’t realize they were in front of us because she had way too much momentum going on.  They started listening to what she had to say, and she just kept going!”Man, they suck!  I bet they can’t even do a cartwheel.”  I almost choked on my spit after that one.

Yeah, I realized this was a red zone when they narrowed their eyes and continue to listen. At this point, I’m practically slapping this girl’s shoulder because she was too far gone in what she was saying to pay attention to the fact that there were two girls she was talking about in front of us.

Note that these weren’t just any girls.  They were the type that weren’t afraid of confrontation, and weren’t afraid to get in your face and possibly slap you (yeah, they were black AND seniors..but not stereotyping, that’s just who they were).

After those torturous 2 minutes, we finally got to our class.  That’s where I broke the news to her.”You know Deborah, there were two cheerleaders in front of you.  Paige and Imani…”

-Insert jaw drop- “What?  Why didn’t you do anything?!”

“I tried, I’m surprised I didn’t bruise you from hitting you so much.  You had too much momentum there dude..”

“Thank God I didn’t say they can’t get two feet off the ground when they jump…Man!  This sucks!  There’s no way I can say that it was just an accident.  I didn’t mean everyone, just like 1 or 2 that I generalized.  Ugh!  I was straight up hating on them!”

It was pretty funny because she had NO idea what she had said in the time that she was talking.  And it was funny because…well, she had no room to talk about other people’s sizes.  It’s not that she’s obese, but she definitely isn’t skinny enough to be criticizing other people.

It was also funny because of the irony.  She’s always warning me not to name drop in the hallway because a friend of someone could just hone in and listen, and here she was naming people up and down like a deck of cards.

So, she spent the whole day scared that they were going to jump her or something (I swear, she’s the whitest black girl I know…Oreo) and I spent the rest of the day reminiscing on the hilarity of how she had one thing to say, even though we both couldn’t do a flip for our lives (her doing field hockey and me XC, we weren’t flexible or tumble-proof).

The point of this is: This is why we don’t talk about people.  Well, at least not in public places like a HALLWAY or CLASSROOM.

Learn from this people.  Don’t let this be you…well, you could be me and laugh off about what they did, but not the other person.  Don’t be a hater either.

Man, now that I look at this, I hope I have some more stories to tell you about my school year for peeps to read, laugh, and learn from…

Oh yea, I turned 16 on September 27!  Just saying, so if you see an age change in my blog…just know that I have past the realm of 15icous (fifteen-i-cuss…it’s not a real word..).

Until Next Time

Being an “Outspoken” Child is Not Acceptable

Don’t get the title wrong…just read the story.

Being sort of an “outspoken” person can be good or bad.  It could be good because it helps people KNOW you’re there, which is a good trait to have with jobs or whatever.  It could be bad because once you start to say something and you’re in momentum, it’s hard to stop until you say the wrong thing.  I say this because of what happened to me today. 

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Today went awkward for me, to say the least.  I do what I usually do every Saturday morning, go to practice from 7:30 to 10:00 am.  This time though, there was a slight detour to my schedule because I had to go to a church workers meeting at 11:00 to discuss the progress of the people who have assigned jobs in my church, and what we could do to strengthen everyone.

It went as productive as putting a whole bunch of adults and young adults in one room: most wanted to get a say in (even I did, which was my eventual downfall), there were some teens there who didn’t care, and there were speakers who talked about how being orderly and nicer to people would help our church.

Speed up to about one hour.  Somehow we got into the topic of not wanting to be just an African church: our goal was to be a multicultural church in the end.  We talked about many things to help us achieve that goal: paying tithes all the time, praying, not talking in our native language and only speaking English so people would feel more involved, being careful to talk about certain things on the pulpit…ding ding ding.  This led one of the girls to mention how she bought her friend to the church and someone on the pulpit said something offensive (even though they didn’t mean to they got caught up in the moment).  Long story short, the friend said that she would describe the church as an African church, which is not the goal.

By this point, I really had to say something, and it didn’t matter how much my mom was signalling for me not to raise my hand…I did it anyways.  In my defense, I did feel bad that the other adults were telling my mom “let her say what she wants” because they eventually noticed.

This will forever be in my memory, and not just because I had a good outfit today.  My exact words were “I think that when we pray to be ‘doer of Your words and not just hearers’ I think that we should really try to be what we pray for, because God will not do EVERYTHING for us.  It has to start from within, and then He will help us…” good so far.  I really should have stopped there, but I was gaining momentum, and by this time I could not filter what I had in my mind, so I CONTINUED on to say We shouldn’t just pray and then act like animals!” 

I knew I said something wrong when I heard the gasps.  Picture this: a fifteen year old girl telling African adults that they’re animals (even though I said “we”, which includes ME).  So, I nervously sat down, making sure to not make eye contact with my mom.

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Then one of the adults said “I was offended by what that girl said and what she (who is me) just now said.  My kids at least know how to not talk.  Maybe we should separate the teens from the adults.”  I’m not going to lie; that got me mad, since it was a sly jab at my mom.  Especially since I felt that EVERYTHING that a kid did offended him.  Then he started to say something about being in Africa, this wouldn’t have ever happened, which again got me mad, because this is AMERICA, and we were trying to be a MULTICULTURAL church (even though I think that’s going to take a few more workers meetings to achieve).

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If I could give mom of the year to my mom, I probably would (or strongly consider it) because she did say “I’m not saying this because she is my daughter, but you really need to correct people in private if you feel offended.  You don’t shame people in public if you’re trying to help them.  That can really make someone emotionally unwell..” and I was all like…

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In the end, I started to realize that although adults say that children can have just as much wisdom as adults and that they should let their minds be free and known…they don’t mean it AT ALL.  It’s just one of those lies that apparently everyone should know it’s a lie and live with it.

So, now when we have workers meetings, I’m just not going to say anything.  THEN, when they ask why the teens aren’t contributing enough, we can all just shrug our shoulders and say “we have nothing to input”.  Cough-hypocrites-cough.. Then they still get mad, so it’s a never ending cycle.

So, while I’m not saying you should not be an outspoken kid or teen, just know that even though adults say that they want your input…they really don’t unless they’re your therapist or something, which is severely disappointing considering how much adults over think things when most times kids have the simplest and most efficient answers.  But hey, what do I know?  I’m just a girl typing on a blog who is waiting to be heard.  Oh well, what can you do?

Till Next Time.